How do I feel?

If there were a graph showing my general happiness during a month or a year, it would probably look like a typical echocardiogram. It goes up a little, back down again, down a little more, shoots up very sharply but then quickly descends. Repeat. Repeat in the opposite direction. Repeat again.

Let’s say that there are twelve months in this ECG. Every month has it’s own spike, at least. A downward spike for every time I get stressed before or during or after an exam, every time I have a mini-crisis in my new apartment, every time I panic and wonder if I’ll ever actually know enough Spanish to be able to complete my degree. An upward spike if I do well in an exam, or if a stranger thinks (if only for a second) that my blonde hair and blue eyes are deceiving and that maybe I am Spanish. An upward spike when my mum visits, when I have a nice weekend or when I am reminded of why I decided to become a doctor.

Admittedly, sometimes the spikes last longer than they do in this image, sometimes I feel down for a month or so, or sometimes I feel great. But this is normal. It is ok to feel good, ok to feel bad, and ok to go from one extreme to the other. If we didn’t, then our graph would look more like this:

…And there is something really wrong with this ECG, right? 

If we didn’t feel all kinds of emotions we wouldn’t feel much at all.

So the problem is not that we don’t always feel 100% happy, because who does? There will always be variation, and it’s good that there is. However, there is something that can be done when we are feeling a little low, something that we can try before we need to see a doctor or take medication.

Before we can take any action, we need to understand what exactly it is that we are feeling ~insert emotion~ about.

If it’s positive, I need to know so that I can recognize what makes me feel good and do it again. It could be absolutely anything, like listening to a song or going for a walk or wearing your favourite shoes, and it might take you by surprise.

I listen to this song once in a while as a break from long hours of studying. I get up, dance, and sing around the room like a fool, but it always makes me feel better. Try it, maybe.

BIGkids - Heart Sing

If it’s negative, I need to get to the bottom of it. If there is something I can do, then I can solve the problem and everything will be ok. Sometimes we have relationships that are bad for us or maybe sometimes we spend too much time alone. Either way, I can fix this; I can make myself feel better. And if I can’t personally find a way through it, there will always be someone who I can turn to for help: my family and my friends.

If there is nothing that can be done, then why am I even bothering to get upset about it? Why should I be feeling so low about something that cannot be changed? If I accept it, I can move on and focus on other things, on the things I can improve and the things I enjoy.

Find out what lifts you up, know about what brings you down, accept what cannot be changed and take action on what can. Get some fresh air or listen to your favourite song, have a beer and treat yo’ self.